My girl friend and I, both work from home, in a large, 2-level house. The definition of large is 3200 square feet. Her work space, a vocal studio, is downstairs; my office is upstairs.

In March, 2010, we rescued a 5-year old Sheltie, and renamed him Ray Charles Jr..

I have come to accept, over time, that while Ray may be OUR dog, he has a bias toward Jessica because her studio is on the ground floor AND, even more important, she feeds him. In the last six months, he has added barking to his repertoire, but only when the door bell rings. He wants to make sure she knows that the next student is at the door.

If she and I are both in the house, Ray follows Jessica, at her slightest anticipated movement, as though he were on an invisible leash. Should I be the only one at home, magically, Ray follows me. Clearly, I am playing second fiddle.

This metaphor is an ideal one for the wedding industry referrals and power brokering. It may be technically correct to say that the person who signs your contract is in charge. It would also be naive and micro-thinking. If it’s a parent, wedding consultant, or the host venue, in actuality, THEY  are in charge.

When one gets into the area of referrals, particularly from venues, the bride is viewed as THEIR bride… not YOUR bride…. OUR bride… or THE bride.

In the grander scheme of things, the formula goes like this: Location (aka turf) + Referral (control of business sent to you) = Power

Even if the booking is one that you have earned, independently, you will often be reminded that when on THEIR turf, THE bride is THEIR bride. Failure to cooperate with INSTRUCTIONS, may be result in being banned from the kingdom and starved of future referrals.

Whoever feeds the dog, owns the dog. Got it?

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority